Mother’s Day, Without…

Hello y’all,

Today is a very special day here at Our Life Out loud.  We are very excited to introduce you to our first guest post writer, Ditzy. Ditzy and I have been close friends since the age of 3. When you have friends who turn into sisters, you go through everything together. I am very proud of her for writing our first Mother’s Day Without post. Find her on Facebook, and tell her how reading this made you feel. Ditzy is a strong women trying to make it in today’s world with what her mama taught her.


It all started on September 4th, 2013 the day after my mom’s birthday. It was the call that no family wants to get. The call that tells you; a daughter, sister, niece, mother, or most important a NANA had cancer. A form of cancer that the doctors in Twin Falls hadn’t seen before. My mother had what they would later call, vulva and lymphomas.

First came the doctor appointments where she had to drive 150 miles to meet her cancer doctor, Doctor Perez. He said, “he would do everything he could do for her”, but he wanted to start her with radiation. Little did we know how much the radiation would hurt my mom. She would have treatments five days a week. The first couple ones just seemed like normal treatments that anyone would get from a doctor. Then came the night that my 91-year-old grandma woke me up at 3 am crying because my mom had locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out. She wanted me to take my mom to the emergency room, but there was nothing they could do for her. She had all of the meds they could give her. Once she finished radiation she had to have a pet scan (to see if the cancer is gone, has grown or what is next).

That is when we got the results back… it was not getting better… so here came a major surgery. They would cut her leg to rebuild her vulva. This put 27 staples in her leg. She spent almost 7 days in the hospital in Boise. Doctor Perez said he thinks this is going to work, he took out the lymph nodes and the vulva looks really good now.. Here came another pet scan… again not the news we wanted to hear.. So on to the next treatment… Chemotherapy…..


So she started the chemotherapy… She would have to lay on a table with this thing over her body, that was molded to her body. Well then she started to get really sick. Like many this is when my mother lost her hair, broken-hearted for her I wanted to shave mine too. My mother told me and my sister no. My sister hazel would take her to the emergency room every couple of weeks and she would be admitted to help get her pain under control. That is when they decided to put a pain pump in her back. After that Hazel had to make the choice to put her in an assisted living home….


Things got hard after that not just for my mom but for my whole family. My mom had stopped eating and would barely drink anything. She couldn’t walk on her own and they would have to help her get out of bed. She had a catheter and a pain pump. So I decided to take a week off of work to go home to move all of her stuff. This is when it really hit me hard that my mom might not make it through this cancer she has. She would get so mad at me because she couldn’t come help me move her house and go through her things. I left that Friday night after moving everything and the following Tuesday on March 2nd, 2015 my sister hazel called….


I answered the phone.. Hazel said to me “MOM ONLY HAS A COUPLE OF HOURS TO LIVE”. I thought to myself how I will make it in time I live two hours away… That is when Ellie and her mom came to get me all the way from Twin Falls. They picked me up in Boise. I said bye to my husband and puppy and headed home just hoping I would make it in time. After getting pulled over for doing 95 mph with Ellie and her mom, we had made it to Twin Falls to make it in time to sit next to my mom. Ellie sat with me day and night while we cried, laughed, smiled, and told stories about our memories with my mom.


On March 7, 2015 Hazel had asked that only family come visit my mom because she seemed at peace so we just wanted to keep her that way. So around 11am that morning the hospice nurse came to check on my mom. He took her temp and it was 107.5 and he said it was not good. So he left. He came back and was going to give my mom some Tylenol to help break the fever to help her not be in pain. Us kids sat outside while the nurse gave my mom her meds. Hazel came outside crying and said we are at the end. We walked back into my mom’s room. While standing next to my mom’s side holding her hand she took her last two breaths of air. Saturday march 7, 2015 at 12pm my mom had won her angel wings and became my guardian angel. Forever my mom.


To everyone reading this who has lost their mom or will some time in their life lose their mom. I write this to you guys. It’s not that she is gone… it’s that she just can see all of the good you’re doing and is so proud of you for everything and anything you have done. She is here with you everywhere you go. When your sad she is there holding you tight. When you’re happy she is standing next to you smiling. She loves you as much as you love her. It’s not goodbye its see you later………



Published by Ellie Shots

Mother 👩‍👦 Wife 💑 Dogx2&Cat 🐶🐶🐱 Lifestyle blogger 👠🍰 finding time for fitness 🏃🏻‍♀️ and friends 👭🍷 advocate for Mother Earth 🌏🌿 just a poor girl from a small town sharing my journey to a better me. Find me streaming on Twitch

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